Most women do not realize the harm they do to their
children by resisting a man's good-natured correction that is, if they are
lucky enough to be married to a halfway decent man and men rarely realize the
harm they do by failing to give correction-not having any real love to give.
The essence of true love is not billing and cooing and
being nice and friendly; it is correction. Correction is the love we all need
but is also what many of us fear. Great wisdom and superb strength are needed
to correct errant behavior. The basic principle to realize is that love is a
facet of understanding which reveals itself in justice and in strength.
First love is patient and without
patience everything you say or do will be wrong.
Second, the effect of your love is
not your responsibility. You may see the need to point out errors or faults to
another but you are not responsible for whether or not they accept your
correction. It is relieving to know that you personally are never responsible
for change in another. Your pride must never be involved. The determination of your
individual responsibility depends upon the relationship you have whether it is
with your wife, husband, child, friend, stranger or employer.
Third, love may be silent. Bear in
mind that silent corrections are just as potent as verbal ones. The right kind
of silence at the right time, the right kind of look with perfect timing has
powerful, meaningful impact. By correction, I mean standing as a patient,
long-suffering example of what another should be and
see in
himself.
To
understand why you must be patient (non-responsive), you need to know the true
nature of man.
People were not created to take
shape from emotional pressure. The Divine Will and Purpose, expressing itself
through the pressure of conscience, must be the order of life. It is only
natural to try to rebel against outrageous authority. Since most children
cannot rebel successfully, they end up conforming to pressure and expressing
the will behind the pressure. Then they become addicted to pressure and unable
to function from within. While some children appear to behave like angels in
the presence of authority, they revert back to worse mischief "when the
cat's away”. Outwardly, they are models of good behavior but inwardly they are
like what their Bible-thumping, over-strict parents are inside-straining at the
leash.
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